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P couldn’t sleep last night: she was being kept awake by the sound of two cats fighting outside the window. Every now and again the fighting would stop and they would throw themselves into the wheely bin with a clatter. Eventually, mystified and annoyed by the repetitive nature of the cats’ shenanigans, she decided to get up and look out of the window. It was then she realised that the noise was my snoring. Should I seek medical help?
>Cat in the wheely bin
Lance Woodman 
>that’s astonishing. could you describe the noise you were making phonetically?
>I’m afraid not – the above description was only elicited after many hours of close questioning. The only thing I can suggest is sourcing two stroppy cats and a wheelie bin and recreating the effect for yourself (tho’ be warned: P says that it is not a pleasant experience). I hope this helps …